You’re about to be “unfriended” just to let you know. This is not due to some specific event or something you’ve done but rather a collective lack from all of you; my “friends.” Just know that in 7 days we will no longer be friends… on Facebook.
There are several reasons that I’m leaving this almost 4 year relationship with Facebook and all of my “friends” and it is you not me that has brought this on. Now I’m not saying that some of this isn’t my fault, because well, maybe I expected too much from you.
Let’s start with that…
Things I Wanted Facebook To Be:
A place for my “friends” and I to share news articles that we’ve read that day/week/month. I hardly ever see this. It is so easy to copy a link to an article and then “repost” that on Faceboook. But rare is the day that I ever saw such a thing.
A place for my “friends” and I to share new music. Now, I never expected Facebook to be so bold as to let my “friends” and I share files. Woah! Hold on! We don’t want to get too edgy here. Let’s not let people share music. That could get sticky. But I would have at least liked some of my “friends” to drop a post from time to time saying, “Hey look at this band, they aren’t the same crap you hear on the radio everyday and I kind of like the way they sound.” That was one of the things I wanted Facebook to be that it wasn’t.
I wanted it to be a place that spawned or ignited or at the very least fueled social change. So we all watched the Kony video. Ok honestly, I didn’t. But, what single event did the FB community at large rally behind and change? SOPA? No. Gay marriage? No. A few people changed their profile pictures to a pink = sign, but last I heard, that hasn’t done much. I just never saw Facebook as a place that did anything real when it came to social movements or causes. The Boston bombing was a prime example. Lots of people posted pictures and words of sympathy, but Facebook isn’t about to become a place where those same people dig for a root to the problems that caused those young men to commit that crime. Facebook never was a place for social change. Just passive social interaction.
Things I Found That Facebook Really Was:
Pictures of food. Yeah, ok, that salad looks great. And, I love bacon as much as anyone, but hiding it in your sandwich does nothing for me.
Pictures of your baby. I shouldn’t need to expound upon this, but no… I do not think your baby is cute. You do. I know you do. I’m glad you do. But I don’t care. I do not care what he/she dressed up as for Halloween or any other day. I don’t care what they said, ate, pooped on or whatever. I genuinely DO NOT CARE.
Pictures that are funny. Yes, they are funny. That is all. But I have plenty of other websites that give me funnier content. Also, just because you put an “ole timey” filter on your photo does not mean it is more interesting. Stop that. We have HD for a reason. And no you hipster bastard retro doesn’t make it artistic. Stop that!
Sports stories. I am guilty of this. I use Facebook as a place to repost sports stories that I find either interesting or funny. But, I’m usually the first to do this and the last to read other people’s sports stories because either I’ve already heard it or it is about a sport that I don’t follow. Facebook is not for sports. ESPN and others are for sports. I realize this.
Religion. Oh my. I never thought that I would see so many religious posts on a social media platform. And, this was not one of the things that bothered me all that much. Great! You feel blessed/tested/graced by the Lord? Fine. What do you want me to do about it? It just seemed misplaced when I saw it on Facebook.
See also: Misplaced Patriotism.
Chain letters. Facebook turned in to a series of chain letters. “Repost this if you love your mom!” What? So if I step on a crack will I also break poor Momma’s back? “Repost this if you want to stop cancer!” If I don’t then… what? I love cancer! Woo! Goooo Cancer! No?
I never saw one of these used on something like an Amber Alert victim. I never saw, “Repost this so we can find this abducted child.” Not once.
Passive aggressive comments. Gross. You know what I’m talking about here and I don’t need to give you a ton of examples. It was gross. Just be honest call it out and just say it. John/Jane/Mom/Dad/etc. I hate the way that you ____ and I want you to _____. That’s it.
Like me! Oh the cries for help and all the begging for attention. It even got to the point where people would make outlandish promises to those who were able to get 1 million “likes” on a photo. Free trip to Hawaii if I get 1,000,000 likes! F that! Are you taking me with you?
An over flow for Twitter and 4square and Pinterest and Google+. So now if I fart in a Burger King in Augusta, Georgia it has to look like this:
@Andrew was at #BK with X, Y and Z likes farting in #MastersGolf with his circle of #Jr.Whopper #silentbutdeadly #roadtrip #killyourself
Just Stop! Why does every event have to be posted and reposted on every platform? I don’t Tweet. I don’t pin up my interest. I don’t want you in my circle, it’s mine. And now, I don’t want my face in your book or yours in mine.
Things I’ll Miss About Facebook:
I’ll miss those pictures of my “friends” doing random things. It’s always nice to see people that I like enjoying their life.
I’ll miss actual updates from everyone. Important events like, “I’m moving to another state.” “I’m starting a new job.” “My parents are getting divorced.”
NOT, “I ate lunch.” “I hate Mondays.” “I got drunk… again.”
I’ll miss you Rebecca Woodhouse. Your updates always make me laugh.
It All Comes Down To This…
Facebook is a waste of time. It is a place to waste time. I have better things to do with my time and it is high time I start doing those things. One of them will be focusing on this blog a bit more. As you may have noticed, it has been well over a year since my last posting and I didn’t even do a college football blog this year. I know that doesn’t make all of my readers all that sad. But alas.
So, bookmark it, pin it up, tweet it, whatever… just continue to check back here if you care to know what’s going on with me and What’s Next?
(Seriously, next week I’ll give you an update on my life as it has progressed over the past 10 months since I’ve returned to America).
*** One last second edit here. I didn't even bother going into how FB tracks your other Web activity or how it weighs on your next job application. If you put it on the web then you have to know it's not private. I don't expect that of any Social Network and it wasn't a standard that I ever held FB to. We are the product that they are selling to corporations so that they can flood our Internet advertisments with their product. Try it. Do a search for a product you'd never really buy. Say... a lawn mower. Look on 2-3 sites for it and compare a few. Then for he next few days-weeks see how lawn mowers pop up everywhere on FB and every other site. You are the product. We all know this. That was never a question.